Earlier today I mentioned in a post that I started suffering from depression and anxiety during my teens but never knew how to talk about it with family. This poem came as a result of what I was feeling and how I wished I could have made my struggles known. It was in my 30’s that I finally started talking about it and realized it did not need to be a secret any longer.
It begins with my heart racing
And I feel the pressure forming deep inside
My words and tone get harsher
I just want to go away and cry.
I can’t put a voice to the feelings
My thoughts aren’t rational, I know
There is a sense of anger and anxiety
And all my frustrations show.
You tell me to just be happy and
Think it’s as simple as that
When I really want you to let me vent
And say you have my back.
I really hope you know I realize
That she does watch my every move
And internalizes all of my actions
Yes, this does make my guilt grow.
I really do try to get help
And talk these feelings through
The pills they help occasionally
But I really just want understanding from you.
Please don’t take this that you’ve failed me
It’s not a reflection of our relationship
This has been a struggle for me for many years
But it’s only now I let the facade slip
It is going to be a process
Something we both must learn more about
Yes, I struggle with depression
It’s a secret I must let out.